Dear Blobert,
Do people really wash their car in Alaska?
I love you,
Uriel Stauker
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Hi Uriel,
Yes, they do, but due to the freezing temperatures, you would be wise to add flavoring to the water. This helps you enjoy licking your way down to the door handle.
Stay Real,
Blobert
P.S. Stop cutting my break lines.
I just came within a gnat’s eyelash of hitting a moose… with my car. No, I didn’t get a picture because my first instinct was not dying.
Followed closely by my second instinct: de-pooping my pants.
After some dental work, there’s nothing I like to do more than go to Sam’s, fill a cart with oversized bacon and cheese packs then, drool coming out of my drooping mouth, tell the cashier I just had a stroke.
I make home improvement look good.
So I’ve been told.
Sorry I haven’t posted for a while. Been moving into a house. Moving sucks. Boxes of stuff I really should have thrown away years and years ago… like an adapter for a power screwdriver that died in 2006.
Sure, I might have some future, obscure use for a 3.6v, 300ma, 220vac power adapter like paper weight or thing to throw through neighbor’s window.
Anywho, back soon. Luv ya.
I could be reading notes or going over 2009 tax items but nooooooo! Metallica won’t let me.
This month’s Dork Award goes to Henkel of North America, proud makers of Soft Scrub general purpose cleanser, for their response to my tweet regarding its product use in a butt wiping application.
Congratulations!
To me???
(it’s the personal touch that makes it special)
Also: cancer. Is it secretly good?
Child labor: The key to industrialization?
Beastiality: The cure for America’s teen pregnancy woes?
Bork Bork: Nork bork bork nork bork?
